The Sale

Make my feet take to flight

Bargains galore are posted on window and door,

There's never been a sale like this before.

Watch your purse there's "thieves about",

Ready just to clean you out.

People are leaping over stand and display

To reach the bargain of the day.

Packages are split and open,

Other things are cracked and broken.

A verbal battle is in full swing,

Who will get the diamond ring?

Is that a gentleman I see,

Fighting for a TV?

The shoes are nice but now I see,

One's a 2 and one's a 3.

There's babyware all frills and bows,

Bottles and bibs and even Po's.

Smart green doublets in red and green

And silken gowns fit for a queen.

This size is wrong - oh deary me,

Can it be worn above the knee.

Buttons are missing, the hem is down,

This sort of bargain makes me frown.

Now Granny trying on things I should not mention,

How can she afford them on the pension?

I got a nice check suit off the peg,

But now I see it's only got one leg.

Fishing nets are just half price,

And games are sold without a dice.

The sales assistant who looks quite ill,

Has got her hand stuck in the till,

Is this the sale price? I'm quite sure

I saw it cheaper next door.

They say it's going for a song,

Now - have they got the ticket wrong?

Folks bump my elbows and squeeze me tight,

And grab everything that's in sight.

I'm poked and pushed and stood upon,

But a sale for me is still such fun.

Updated: 11:18 Thursday, January 10, 2002