Finally, when all the animals had been

Culled and anything else on the farm that

Looked as if it might have foot and mouth, or even

The slightest hint of a cold, had been destroyed,

The Ministry of Agriculture was re-shuffled and

The minister moved on to the Ministry of Health.

It wasn't long before his attention was drawn to

The increasing number of elderly people

Complaining about their aches and pains.

The lamentations reached epidemic proportions.

Demands for more expensive treatments, artificial

Joints and operations were becoming less cost effective

Until the price of human life had dropped to

Less than that of a pound of sausages.

The minister began culling. It had worked well before.

Television news was dominated by disturbing pictures

Of the elderly being taken north

Stiff limbs stuck out ungainly as their bloated carcasses

Were scooped out of trucks and into mass graves

People looked away. "How tasteless, pass the ketchup

And switch over to 'Celebrity Bathtime."

Soon small children began to ask awkward questions:

"ave yer seen me Grandad?"

"When are we going to Grandmas for tea?"

Their parents panicked. "Hush, don't make a fuss."

Rumours spread as the Ministry of Health was re-shuffled.

The minister moved on to the Ministry of Family Affairs.

And the villages became silent.

As the minister was congratulated for a job well done!

Updated: 10:21 Thursday, September 20, 2001