Finally, when all the animals had been
Culled and anything else on the farm that
Looked as if it might have foot and mouth, or even
The slightest hint of a cold, had been destroyed,
The Ministry of Agriculture was re-shuffled and
The minister moved on to the Ministry of Health.
It wasn't long before his attention was drawn to
The increasing number of elderly people
Complaining about their aches and pains.
The lamentations reached epidemic proportions.
Demands for more expensive treatments, artificial
Joints and operations were becoming less cost effective
Until the price of human life had dropped to
Less than that of a pound of sausages.
The minister began culling. It had worked well before.
Television news was dominated by disturbing pictures
Of the elderly being taken north
Stiff limbs stuck out ungainly as their bloated carcasses
Were scooped out of trucks and into mass graves
People looked away. "How tasteless, pass the ketchup
And switch over to 'Celebrity Bathtime."
Soon small children began to ask awkward questions:
"ave yer seen me Grandad?"
"When are we going to Grandmas for tea?"
Their parents panicked. "Hush, don't make a fuss."
Rumours spread as the Ministry of Health was re-shuffled.
The minister moved on to the Ministry of Family Affairs.
And the villages became silent.
As the minister was congratulated for a job well done!
Updated: 10:21 Thursday, September 20, 2001
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