1. JOHN’S father Bill was the go to man if you had an uninvited swarm of bees. He shunned all the traditional beekeeping hats, veils and gloves, preferring to deal with a swarm bare chested, bare armed and bare headed. Just the bare necessities.

A calm, unflustered, phlegmatic man, he was rarely, if ever, stung by the bees. When calls started to come in as the old queen bees left their nests to form a new colonies, I think he quite enjoyed his “celebrity” status as the bee man.

Many of the farm hives were kept in the orchard, a prime location for pollinating the fruit trees. But they were moved about if, for example, rape was being grown in a particular year and taken for their holidays onto moors to store up on heather honey for the winter.

I must admit I was not keen on the hives in the garden or orchard, and in fact, apart from the hives being placed down the fields to fertilise particular crops such as rape, field beans or linseed, all of them went to John’s brother Geoff’s home.

He now became the go to man for swarms, taking on his father’s role. And one notable year even helping John remove a swarm of bees from our attic. They must have got into the roof space via a broken pantile and the first I knew was when I heard a low humming noise coming from the far attic room where the cold water tanks are housed.

I thought we had alien invaders, especially when I discovered the pulsating waxen mass under the tiles. John swept the entire swarm into a grain sack and took them a couple of miles away from the farm so they would not try to re-inhabit the loft space.

So you can imagine my concern when I found out the latest project. John has become a born again apiarist. “I fancy putting a few hives in the corner of the house paddock,” he told me.

“Now we have planted all those new fruit trees around the garden, we need some honey bees to fertilise the apples, cherries and plums.” Hmmmm. Or to be like a bee. Hummmm.

John’s plan is not to buy a swarm of bees, but to provide enticing hives for the honey bees themselves to find. They will find their new homes ready equipped with sugar syrup, space to build combs, sheltered near a hedge and raised off the ground so as to prevent heavy rain splashing in.

Importantly the hive will also be handily located near the paddock pond so the bees can dilute their honey before they eat it and regulate the temperature by releasing water to evaporate and cool inside the hive.

I feel after receiving this wealth information from him on bee keeping, it is a lost cause to object. I’ll just buzz off and sulk.