EY up ow ist tha. What a very busy old month it has been. I have had a busy time out and about speaking.

What a wonderful time we had at Chop Yate Village Hall; it rang with laughter from start to finish and was only to happy to help the fundraising effort for the church and got the best buy in the auction.

I think the biggest honour this month was to be asked to speak at a fundraising event for St Catherine's Hospice, organised by the wonderful Rita Brown from Helmsley. It was a special evening and thanks to the generosity of the local people of Helmsley and surrounding areas we raised more than £6,400 for such a very important charity. Well done Rita and team.

We are ever nearing Christmas and as I write this something has popped up on my computer to tell me it's 38 days until the big event.

So where am I going Christmas shopping? In fact, when you read this I will have been so I may never be the same again. We have been away for the weekend to Northumberland so made the most of the time up there to get the shopping done oh and send father a postcard for his collection.

Talking of father, I was sat the other night at their house in the kitchen talking to mother when father came into the kitchen and said "As oft ti't pub, putt thee coats on," I said, "Why are wi cumin wit tha". "Nay," he said "As tonning eating off". Well that is tight for you so mother and me had to sit in our coats.

I was following a learner driver the other day and I started to think back to when me mother took her driving test for the first time. Now we know mother hasn't got the best driving capabilities after her incident on Sutton Bank in the wrong gear.

I remember the Thursday morning as if it was yesterday she went off to do her driving test and no sooner had she gone and she was back.

So I asked the question "Owst tha getten on". "Failed" was the reply. "Oh it can't bi ower bad, wats he puled thou up on." "A rope" she said. "Cars still it river at keddill." My poor nova I never saw it again. Poor mother.

I have also had the pleasure this month of helping Father Christmas out as he couldn't make our school fair so I donned the red coat and went to his rescue. I was doing well until the elastic snapped on my beard and I had fake ear ache to hold it on. I think the near miss was nearly being caught holding me beard up drinking a cup of tea.

They do make you chuckle do the kids asking for a lot of really expensive things and there parents hoping not until I lean across and say "Not a problem I am sure I can dirt that". One Katy was going to go and buy two Ipads, two Kindles and two Playstations. She didn't look very happy with me. I wonder why.

Father started another hobby this week, keep fit. I nearly choked when he told me he had taken up jogging and power walking. Turns out he jogs to the fish shop, power walks to the pub and then staggers home from there, but according to him it's not staggering its some technical yoga term, but he can't pronounce it.

With all the sadness in the world over the last two weeks I thought I would leave you with this little story to cheer you up. A young lad from Helmsley was looking for a job, when there was nothing around locally he looked in the paper and saw the perfect job. The advert read Lighthouse keeper wanted, house included. So he went for it and got it. He set off and got to his new home and got settled in. He retired to bed on his first night and slept well. When he got up the next morning and opened the front door he boss was stood there. When he looked out to sea he could see eight shipwrecks and body's all over the rocks. His boss asked "wat on earth hast thou been doing thou silly feel. It's absolutely mayhem owt ere," lad said "Wheel I couldn't sleeap wit big leet on." I hope that has cheered you up.