ALTHOUGH no further on with harvesting the field beans, or getting all of the barley straw baled because of incessant rain, our cow with twin calves has now been returned to the fields.

That was an episode fraught with some difficulty. Mrs Cow had quite taken to the idea of comfortable barn living. I mean; hay, water and concentrates supplied regularly by compliant human beings. A cosy, comfortable, water proof home. Lots of straw to lie down on. Your babies right there under your nose and no searching needed along hedge backs if they had suddenly decided to go wandering off.

She remained very aggressive, however. Boundaries had to be observed. Going in and out of the pen to keep up standards and refreshments very circumspect. And fast.

But out in the fields two more cows had calved. Both new mums and their babies coming under some pressure from older bull calves just starting to feel that first flush of testosterone. One of the little calves had been nearly flattened by bull calves trying out their mating skills. They might not know exactly what the moves should be, but they were keen to give it a go on something smaller.

To sort the problem out we moved both cows and calves into an inland grass field away from the main herd, and decided it was time to upset the cosy in house/in barn arrangements of the cow with her twins.

First step was to back the Land Rover and trailer up to the improvised pen of interlocking field gates, back the trailer in and drop down the ramp. All viewed with great suspicion by Mrs Cow. Lots of stamping, snorting and mooing. Then in a beautifully coordinated set of moves (well I thought so), we gradually reduced the size of the pen by removing or folding back the gates so that cow and calves were moved closer to the trailer ramp. Even greater suspicion and annoyance ensued so we took a break round the back of the trailer and let things calm down. After all, if Mrs Cow really thought about it, she could have easily flattened us and the gates. So best not to let her.

The calves were not helping things. If they wandered away their mum got very agitated. But by now John had decided the patient, patient, slowly, slowly tactic was not working. Time to be masterful. We removed two more of the gates to reduce the space available and pushed mum and calves towards the ramp. Up they clattered. And in John dodged to bang the trailers' interior gates shut. Whew. Mrs Cow was not best pleased however. The trailer rocked as she bashed against the sides. Time to get a move on before one of the calves got hurt.

Once in the field there was no bother. John let the back of the trailer down and stood back. Cow and calves rocketed out. Two minutes later they were all peacefully grazing. No sign of the homicidal bovine fury of before. The return of rural bliss.