Proper Poorly (From Gazette & Herald)

Proper Poorly

Oh, Doctor, I am out of sorts. I hate to bother you,

As you may find you've bitten off much more than you can chew.

I find it hard to sleep, you know, or wake up in the morning,

And if I watch a late-night film, I simply can't stop yawning.

Sometimes I get a tingling feeling just behind my knee.

I reckon it's a blood clot and I'm sure you will agree.

I worry every day that I may be a hopeless case,

And matters are not helped by this small spot upon my face!

In winter, when it's snowing, my fingers get so chilly!

D'you think I will get chilblains, or am I being silly?

When I've not eaten for a while, my stomach feels all hollow.

And if my throat is sore, you know, I find it hard to swallow.

I've seen a pleasant counsellor and reflexologist;

I've even asked the local vet to put me on his list!

There must be some new medicine to cope with all my ills.

I've tried a lot of things before; all sorts and kinds of pills.

It's hypochondria, you say! Oh, dearie, dearie me!

I'd best get home in case I die before I've had my tea!

Updated: 17:13 Wednesday, May 28, 2003