Lamp posts (From Gazette & Herald)

Lamp posts

IN their infinite wisdom Malton Town councillors have decided to spend £10,000 on 12 lamp posts without lights. They plan to hang flower baskets on them to celebrate the Queen's golden jubilee. The cost of watering is estimated at at least £1,000 - if they can get someone to do it for that.

It will be interesting how these lamp-less lamp posts are viewed, say in ten or 20 years time. One can visualise a scene involving an ageing ex-councillor and his young and inquisitive grandson...in 2017.

Boy: "What's all those steel thingees Grandpa"?

G'pa: "Them's lamp-posts son, 12 of 'em, cost £10,000 back in 2002...before you were born, for old Queen's jubilee.To celebrate it."

Boy: "But they have no lamps on 'em..."

G'pa: "Aye, I know. They're were just for hanging flower baskets on."

Boy: "So they're not really lamp posts then are they? They can't be, without lamps.

G'pa: "Well...they're like lamp posts in a way. Putting lights on 'em would have been too dear. Like the idea of a bandstand - until we were told it would cost £50,000."

Boy: "Is that what everyone wanted for the Queen? Lamp posts without lamps?"

G'pa: "Well....we didn't ask anyone, 'cos we thought they'd like 'em. That's democracy. We were elected to do what we thought best. You only listen to folks at election time."

Boy: "What happens when there's no flowers to hang on em?"

G'pa: "Good question son. We discussed that in council later on. It never entered out heads - like the cost of watering flowers. (Chuckling) But the dogs like 'em."

BILL ANDERSON

Norton

Updated: 11:30 Thursday, April 25, 2002